7 Signs Someone Secretly Hates You
Ever had that gut feeling that someone just doesn’t like you, but they’re not saying it out loud? Maybe it’s a co-worker who always has a sneaky way of putting you down, or a friend who’s suddenly acting a little too weird.
People rarely admit when they dislike someone, but their behavior can give them away.
Let’s break down 7 subtle signs that someone might secretly hate you so you can handle it like a pro.
1. They Always Give Backhanded Compliments
We all know the type of people who say things like: “Wow, you’re so brave for wearing that!” or “I didn’t expect you to do so well on that project!”.
These so-called compliments have a sneaky undertone of criticism. It’s like they’re trying to insult you, but they’re wrapping it up in a compliment to keep it subtle.
People who secretly dislike you don’t want to stir the pot too much, but they can’t resist letting their true feelings slip out. Their “compliments” often feel more like jabs.
How to handle it: Call them out with a smile or respond confidently, like, “Thanks! I’m actually really proud of that!” Showing them you’re unbothered takes the wind out of their sails.
2. They Exclude You From Conversations or Events
Ever noticed how you’re left out of group chats, skipped over in conversations, or not invited to gatherings? It’s not always an accident—sometimes people deliberately exclude you to send a message.
Exclusion is a passive-aggressive way of saying, “You’re not welcome here.” It’s subtle, but it can sting.
How to handle it: Don’t jump to conclusions right away, sometimes people just forget. But if it’s a pattern, you might want to address it head-on or talk to someone you trust about it.
3. Their Body Language is Distant or Defensive
Body language can give people away even when their words don’t. If someone avoids eye contact, crosses their arms when you’re around, or physically leans away from you, it might be a sign they’re not a fan of you.
Actions speak louder than words, and body language is hard to fake. When someone is uncomfortable or annoyed, it shows.
How to handle it: Keep your own body language open and friendly. Sometimes, being warm and approachable can ease the tension. If it doesn’t, that’s on them—not you.
4. They’re Overly Critical or Nitpicky
Does it feel like this person always finds something wrong with what you do?
Whether it’s your work, your choices, or even the way you talk, they never seem to miss a chance to critique you.
Constant criticism can be their way of keeping you on edge. It’s less about helping you improve and more about making you doubt yourself.
How to handle it: Take what’s useful and let the rest roll off your back. Respond calmly with something like, “Thanks for the feedback!” and keep doing your thing.
5. They Seem Fake Around You
Ever felt like someone’s being too nice? Like their smiles are forced, their enthusiasm is exaggerated, or their small talk feels awkward?
That fake vibe might be covering up something deeper.
If someone dislikes you but feels they have to pretend otherwise, their behavior will feel strained. Being fake takes effort, and it shows.
How to handle it: Don’t waste energy trying to make them genuinely like you. Focus on being yourself and let them deal with their own feelings.
6. They Gossip About You
If you’ve heard through the grapevine that someone’s been talking about you behind your back, it’s a pretty clear sign they’re not in your corner. Gossiping lets them vent their feelings while stirring up drama.
Gossip is often about control and manipulation. It’s their way of turning others against you without confronting you directly.
How to handle it: Confront them calmly if you can. Try saying, “Hey, I heard you had some concerns about me—can we talk about it?” Respectful confrontation can put a stop to it.
7. They Sabotage or Undermine You
This one’s the most obvious. Maybe they take credit for your ideas, conveniently forget to tell you important details, or subtly mess with your efforts. Sabotage is a clear sign of deeper resentment.
This goes beyond dislike—it’s actively trying to hurt you or make you look bad. It’s often rooted in jealousy or insecurity. (See my guide on 13 Major Signs of Jealousy)
How to handle it: Keep track of incidents and speak up when needed, especially at work. Protect yourself by being proactive and documenting everything. (See my other guide on 8 Ways to Deal with Jealous People)
Final Thoughts
Figuring out if someone secretly hates you can be tough, but it’s important to trust your instincts and not overthink. It’s a natural part of life—some people won’t like you, and that’s perfectly okay.
Instead of dwelling on their negativity, surround yourself with those who truly value you. Life is too short to be spent worrying about the opinions of others.
Stay true to who you are, and let your kindness and confidence shine. People who genuinely care about you will always see your worth, and that’s what truly matters. Keep your head high and your circle supportive.
Hope this guide was helpful. If it was, consider sharing it with one other person.
Take good care and I’ll talk to you soon!
