How to Train Yourself to Deal with Difficult People?
Today we’ll discuss how to deal with difficult people using a couple of simple techniques that we can use instantly to train our minds in advance.
We all have some people in our lives that we find a bit difficult and challenging to deal with. Maybe it’s that co-worker, a friend, a neighbor or maybe someone very close to you.
Do you dread dealing with them?
Does it put you in an anxious state when you see them or even just thinking of them makes you
Below we’ll look into some practices that if you use regularly, you will eventually be able to train your mind to handle such people effectively while keeping your inner peace and harmony intact.
1. Use Your Imagination To Program Your Mind
In mind-sciences, imagination is The most powerful tool to reprogram and condition your mind.
It’s available to us 24/7 yet it’s surprising how very few people use it consciously and effectively.
Most of us use our imagination in an unconscious way either indulging in thoughts of the past or worrying about the future.
Instead, we must learn to use this extremely powerful tool to transform things for the better.
As you go through the steps below, make a conscious effort to follow the instructions and use the best of your imagination. Just relax and take your time.
So here’s what you need to do:
Close your eyes and imagine that uncomfortable situation where you’re dealing with that particular person whom you find difficult to handle.
See what you would see in that scenario, hear what you would hear, and feel what you would feel.
This may initially feel a bit uncomfortable to create that scenario in your mind but stick with it.
At the end of this exercise, you’ll eventually relax and feel a sense of freedom.
While you’re in that scenario in your mind, imagine you are handling that situation very positively and very effectively.
You are tapping into your inner wisdom to deal with it in a proactive manner and maybe a light and playful manner.
Even if at the moment you don’t know exactly “how” you will do it, just trust yourself.
Know that deep in your unconscious, you have the ability to handle this person and this situation in the best possible way.
Allow yourself and your imagination to freely tap into that inner potential, that hidden ability.
Then begin to see the situation or the interaction with that person turn into a neutral and normal experience.
Notice that you have now stopped feeling any negative feelings that you might have felt in the past.
This Now gives you the feeling of absolute freedom as you’re now free and in control of your own state of mind.
Notice the state of total peace, composure, wisdom, and harmony.
Notice this feeling of freedom and lightness while you are still interacting with that person.
And if you’re not feeling it yet, create it.
Begin to breathe in a relaxed manner, take deep breaths in and out. Relax your forehead, eyebrows and all the small muscles on your face.
Relax and let go of your shoulder and neck.
Breathe deep into your belly. Let your belly and your chest expand freely as you breathe in this relaxed manner.
And as you do that, Put a smile on your face now.
As you’re interacting with that person in your imagination, remind yourself that he/she is just a human being, like anyone else.
And you obviously know that nobody is perfect.
You also begin to realize at this moment that everybody is different, everybody is dealing with their own challenges and problems, and everyone has a different way of dealing with life.
All of a sudden, notice as you begin to feel empathetic and compassionate towards that person.
This puts you out of the influence of your own emotions and you begin to operate on a much higher and wiser state of mind, as you see the bigger picture now.
When that feeling of absolute freedom and lightness increases to the peak as you continue to imagine, press the ring finger and your thumb of the same hand together.
You can do it on either hand, right or left, just remember which one you pick.
We call it anchoring. Doing this will fortify that feeling of freedom and lightness in
As you repeat this practice of imagination over and over again and keep pressing the ring finger and the thumb while feeling absolute freedom, you’ll wire yourself to get into that positive state of mind at your will.
All you will need to do then is to press your ring finger and thumb together and you’ll get into that state.
It will act as an activation button to get into the state of freedom at any time you want.
The next time when you deal with that person again, you will have wired your brain to handle that situation/person in a positive and light way.
And if you need, you can just press the button (set off the anchor by pressing the same fingers of the same hand) and you’ll get into a great state!
P.S.: This requires you to practice this many times until your mind is programmed and well-conditioned to handle that scenario effectively.
You cannot just expect to reap amazing results by doing it once (just like anything else in life). The more frequent you do it, the better.
Set a target to repeat this exercise at least 5 times today.
The first couple of times it might take you some time to imagine the scenario in vivid detail, so relax and take your time.
As you continue to do it over and over again, it will take you just a few seconds to do the entire exercise.
2. Enhance Your Consciousness By Staying In The Present.
A lot of times we’re overthinking stuff.
Until now we might have spent much of our adult life thinking too much of the past and too much of what might happen in the future.
Would you agree that most of the time we’re thinking either about what happened even if it was just a few moments ago or what might happen even if it’s just a few minutes ahead?
Living and operating in the present moment – right this second – is a much rare occurrence than we think.
This also comes into play in case of dealing with difficult or challenging people.
Until now we used to dread dealing with such people because of our past experiences with the particular person. Based on that, we unconsciously assumed and predicted what is going to happen ahead.
Now it’s completely okay to learn from past experiences and plan ahead.
What we must do now is to just take a very deep, relaxing breath of fresh air and let go of thoughts of the past and future that used to put you in unresourceful or negative states of the mind.
When you let go of thoughts of the past and future regarding that particular person, you automatically behave and deal with them in a way that will shift your entire experience with them into a neutral or even into a positive one.
So next time, whenever you catch yourself thinking about the past experiences with that person or dreading about future interactions, bring yourself to the Present instantly.
How to be in the Present? Well, follow through.
Make yourself realize deeply that what happened in the past is GONE!
In the present reality, it is NO MORE!
It is only through the imagination of our mind that we experience past things in the present moment.
On an unconscious level, we keep on replaying that experience over and over again in our heads. That is how we let our past impact our present.
Remember what we discussed above about wiring/programming our mind through repetition. By repeating negative thoughts and experiences in our heads, we unintentionally and unconsciously create negative states of mind and hence negative emotions.
That is why things from the past that might not exactly be happening at this very second as you’re reading this article, still continue to impact us and create all of those uncomfortable feelings.
But as you consciously think about it, it begins to sink into the deeper part of your mind that past has passed. And it’s no longer there, even if it happened a few minutes ago. It’s gone, it’s finished.
You will begin to experience this strange new feeling of inner freedom. A feeling of being in charge of your mind. A feeling that you can stop any thoughts or emotions from the past and bring yourself to the present moment, right NOW!
The same goes for the future. We don’t have to sweat too much about what has not happened yet.
You don’t have the knowledge of the future. You are just imagining and predicting the possibilities, but can you guarantee it?
We cannot even guarantee our next breath. As grim as it sounds, it’s the reality.
P.S. This does not mean that we should never think about the future or plan ahead. This is in the following context:
- When we are overly concerned about the things that are out of our control.
- Too many or too strong negative assumptions about the future.
- When thoughts of the future impact our present in a negative way.
Bring all of your senses to the present moment.
Start noticing what you are seeing with your eyes. What you’re hearing right now. The sensations on your skin. How you’re breathing at the moment.
Now look around and bring your attention to the blessings surrounding you at this very moment.
The blessing of breathing clean air. Clean water to drink. Food to eat. Privileged enough to use the device with internet facility. that you’re using right now.
All the good, loving people that are present in your life right now.
All the small material things around you that make your life a little bit easier.
Maybe you’re near a fan or an air conditioner or maybe just the natural wind. Notice that. Feel privileged that you are able to feel this on your skin.
No matter how tough it gets, we all still have many things to be grateful for and happy about. But because we used to focus so much on the negatives with so much repetition, that negativity became our experience of life.
That can change now as you learn to live in the present moment and free yourself from any disempowering or unresourceful thoughts of the past and the future.
Some people who have unintentionally conditioned themselves to think negatively may initially need to put in extra effort to feel the deep sense of gratefulness to a higher degree.
But since I have given you some tools and techniques to reprogram your mind, you can use it creatively to reshape your thinking patterns and hence reshape your experience of life.
Remember, the key is repetition.
Our mind works like a muscle in our body. If you train it regularly, it will get stronger.
So make the most out of these exercises and practices by doing them frequently. In fact, you can include them in your morning habits.
Talk to you soon!
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Thank you, bless you too!