Who doesn’t want to have a great personality?
A positive, radiant, and charismatic personality makes great friends and wins many hearts. It is the key to connecting with people and having a great social life.
Life is much more fun and interesting when you have a good, easy-going personality.
To continuously grow and become a better version of ourselves, it is essential that we consciously work on developing high caliber personality traits.
It is equally important to remove any such traits and habits that might be damaging our personal and social life.
So today let’s look into a few do’s and don’ts that will help you craft a respectable and admirable personality.
1. Take Yourself Easy
Ego is the thing that sometimes makes us too serious and too rigid.
Let go of the ego.
Let go of the urge to be in a defensive mode about yourself all the times.
Let go of the urge to show other people how superior you are.
Be an easy going person.
Stop taking things too personally and learn to laugh at your shortcomings.
We all are human, made of flesh and bones, and none of us is perfect.
Life is much more enjoyable and colorful when we push ego out of the way and allow ourselves to relax.
2. NEVER Make Someone The Butt Of Your Joke
Having a humorous and comedic attitude is great. It greatly amplifies your presence and personality.
However, when the target of our humor is another human being, this humorous trait instantly becomes a toxic one.
We break rapport and lose respect in the eyes of the person we are making fun of.
Not only that, but we also convey unreliability and lack of integrity to the people listening to our jokes.
You might make people laugh at the moment by making fun of someone, but at the same time, you establish a shallow, insensitive, and insincere image of yourself.
Be humorous, but avoid targeting any particular individual at all costs.
3. Don’t Talk Behind People’s Back
Talking behind people’s back is one of the most “beta” things a person can do.
It shows a great weakness of character.
Though backbiting and gossip might feel good when you’re doing it, it does great damage to your personality.
No sensible person would ever trust an individual who talks behind people’s back and pokes their nose into others’ personal matters just so he/she can have some content for gossip.
Even when somebody else is gossiping about someone, avoid participating in it. Remain quiet, change the topic, or leave the conversation.
4. Become A Good Listener
A common misconception is that you have to talk more to become charismatic.
In reality, active listening is a more attractive skill than endless talking.
The world needs more active listeners, people who genuinely show interest in other people.
There’s a reason we have TWO ears and only ONE mouth.
Make use of your ears more. Sincerely listen to people and empathize with them.
This will make you more friends and wellwishers than anything else.
When you begin to give importance to people, you’ll receive it back manyfold.
Often what makes active listening difficult for people is either their own ego and insecurities or insensitivity.
Analyze what’s keeping you from giving your undivided attention and interest to the people who are conversing with you.
5. Be Encouraging And Supportive Towards Others
When someone tells you their achievements or their great plans and ideas about something, how do you usually respond?
Many people feel insecure upon hearing others’ ambitious ideas and achievements. It is almost as if their self-worth is threatened by someone else’s progress and growth.
This again is a sign of character weakness and needs some reflection and some personal development work.
On the other hand, how would you feel about that person who encourages you on your endeavors, shows their support for your ideas, and appreciates your achievements?
Instantly you’ll begin to like and value that person.
The world needs more of such people who encourage and support others instead of bringing them down.
Be that kind of a person. People will love you for it.
6. Be A Principle/Values Centered Person
Have you ever seen someone who changes their colors like a chameleon only to fit into different gatherings?
Or a person who compromises on morals, ethics, and values the moment they come under some pressure?
At social gatherings, such people portray to be this great, sophisticated, pleasant person. In their personal lives, they are nothing like what they apparently portray.
On the flip side, a Principle-Centered person is the one who operates on higher values under any situation.
They are firm on morals and ethics.
Though they are great in their social circle, they are even better in their personal lives.
When they face challenges, they operate in a manner that is in alignment with their higher values and moral principles.
Such an individual is usually highly respected among people even though they do not always try to fit in with everybody due to their clearly defined values.
Define YOUR moral values. Stick by them. NEVER compromise on them just to fit in with society.
7. Radiate Positive Energy
The world needs more calm and positive people. Be the kind of person who “genuinely” radiates positive and uplifting energy.
Cheer people up. Be sincere and transparent. Become a beacon of light for others.
Avoid complaining and whining about circumstances, weather, or the government.
Avoid negative assumptions and judgments regarding people.
Show some optimism. Give people benefit of the doubt. Understand others’ shortcomings. Forgive people’s mistakes.
Uplift people. Motivate them where needed. Give hope. Show encouragement.
Be generous in giving compliments. Make people feel good about themselves.
8. Develop Intellectual Humility
Do you know someone who thinks they know everything? One who has a stubborn opinion regarding almost everything.
Yep, that isn’t a very attractive attitude, is it?
Wise and knowledgeable people KNOW that they DON’T KNOW about everything.
They realize that their opinions are their own perspectives, based on their own subjective experiences.
Hence they are open to hear and respect others’ perspectives. They are flexible enough to mold and update their own world-view as they continue to learn with each passing day.
What is Intellectual Humility?
Intellectual Humility is when we realize that our own opinions, perspectives, and overall world-view might be biased and subjective, and may NOT be full and final, be all end all.
Being intellectually humble means to be open to learning new ways to perceive things.
To be respectful of others’ opinions even if they are different than us.
To be ready to accept our own shortcomings and mistakes, and be ready to change ourselves at any moment when needed.
9. Live With Purpose. Have A Vision For Life.
There is nothing more powerful and charismatic than a person who lives their life with a purpose. Who knows their true calling.
The kind of person who has a clear vision of who they want to become and what they want to do in this limited lifetime that we have.
Knowing your life’s purpose and having a vision instantly gives you confidence and power to move forward, make decisions, and take action.
Self-Confidence, Self-Esteem, and Charisma come as a part of the package of a purposeful life.
If you’re not yet sure about your true calling in life, make it a priority to spend time working on yourself and knowing who you are deep inside.
A life without a higher purpose is a life wasted.
When it comes to the purpose of life, many people tend to think immediately about what profession/job/business do they want to do.
To make it simpler for you, here’s a hint,
Think in terms of
WHAT KIND OF A PERSON YOU WANT TO BECOME?
And HOW ARE YOU GOING TO SERVE GOD AND HUMANITY?
10. Be An Interesting And Dynamic Person
How many hobbies and interest do you have at the moment?
How often do you venture out from the world that you know into the world that you don’t know yet?
How curious and enthusiastic are you to gain new experiences? Experiences you haven’t had before.
So many of us get caught up in the rut of everyday life that we tend to lose our interests and forget about our potentials and hobbies. We get a bit closed off to newer experiences.
No wonder life got a bit boring as we “grew up”.
Reignite that inner childish curiosity. Get in touch with your interests.
Explore new areas of life. Develop new hobbies.
Life has so much to offer. Be a Dynamic Person. Stop limiting yourself to just a few bland and boring things in life.
This will not just drastically enhance your personality but also make your life way more enjoyable and interesting.
11. Stop Trying To Please People And BE YOURSELF (Be Genuine)
It’s as simple as it is. Be a genuine, transparent person. Be who you are.
Stop acting differently in front of people just so you can look good in their eyes. Being a people-pleaser shows a lack of self-confidence and self-esteem.
One of the best ways to enhance your personality and become charismatic is to stop caring too much about what people think of you.
It’s ironic that many people try to act in a certain way just to show off their personality, when in fact it only projects how insecure and unconfident they are about themselves.
Self-Acceptance is the root of self-confidence and a great personality. Learn more about “How To Accept Yourself” in my in-depth guide on self-acceptance.
Notice that all the things we just discussed regarding improving your personality have more to do with your character integrity and who you are inside, rather than what you try to portray on the outside.
Working from the roots is more lasting than just some shallow tricks.
12. Stop Comparing Yourself To Other People
Part of “Being Yourself” is to stop comparing yourself and your progress to other people.
Comparing oneself with others either breeds inferiority/superiority complex or jealousy. Both are harmful to personal growth and makes up a lousy personality.
You are different. So is everyone else. Let go of the urge to compare everything thing to yourself.
As soon as you deeply internalize this, you’ll experience utter freedom.
Which, in turn, will automatically result in a more confident, charismatic, relaxed, and a genuine personality.
A great personality has to always come from within. We cannot hide behind superficial acting and personality tricks for too long.
Who we really are will eventually reveal itself.
Use these tips in your everyday life to develop a grounded, well-rooted personality that’ll help you gain great friends and contacts for life and immensely enhance your relations with the people that you know.
A writer by calling, a life coach by passion, an artist by nature. Someone who has dedicated his life to exploring deep human potentials, spirituality, and timeless wisdoms of life with a hunger to share those experiences and knowledge to help others find meaning and improve the quality of their lives.